Category Archives: Honesty

Aside

The other day while heading back from church, my son asked me, “Mom, why is it so easy for us to follow the law but so hard for us to follow God’s Law?”  As usual, he had stumped me.  I … Continue reading

Thank you, Mr. Obama

Thank you, THANK You, THANK YOU for three things:
1. For shutting up Donald Trump for one brief moment by producing a valid United States birth certificate,
2. For shutting up Donald Trump for a slightly longer period of time with the successful mission that resulted in the death of Osama Bin Laden, and
3. For NOT unnecessarily publishing gruesome pictures of a dead terrorist to satisfy the same type of idiots that demanded proof of your American birth.

By not publishing these pictures, you have spared those of us who do not care to see the pictures from the constant barrage of the same gory images looped 24 hours straight by CNN, MSNBC and Fox. Just like those abortion protesters that believe holding up those vile photographs by the highway will actually change public opinion rather than horrify the driving public, the publication of a dead Osama would not satisfy those who would claim the pictures were photo-shopped.

You have spared us the media circus and have likely evaded additional rage and retailiation by Bin Laden followers, and I am grateful.

Hopefully Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen or Lindsay Lohan will do something stupid soon and we can expand our news horizons once again to the vapid and disreputable crap we’re used to being fed.

Chance to heal

I have been presented recently with a spiritual and emotional challenge…actually, as a friend of mine would say, it’s an “AFGO.” (Another *@!%ing Growth Opportunity.)

A person from my past contacted me out of the blue not long ago. Yes, that lovely tool called Facebook was the impetus for the contact. Being raised to be polite, I accepted the friend request with some trepidation. There was a fair amount of curiosity about this person I have not seen in over 20 years, but there was also the age-old pang of wanting so much to be accepted. The fact that she was pursuing contact with me was a small victory.

When we were kids, we went to a small school. Andsby virtue of the fact that we were children, we behaved as such and were fickle with each other. Sometimes we were friends, and sometimes for reasons unbeknown to me, she would become angry with me and suddenly stop talking to me.  For WEEKS at a time…I would go completely berserk following her around, begging her to speak to me.

She would smile and continue silently on.

As we grew older, still trapped in the same small school, things got worse. She became better at alienating me, and one day convinced several children on the bus to cheer when I got up to leave. Humiliation and impotent rage do not begin to describe the feeling of a 4th or 5th grader being heckled by an entire bus load of children (Hmmm…been meaning to talk to my therapist about that). That’s right: I don’t have a therapist.

Now, I’m not saying that I was a perfect child or that she didn’t have reason to become irritated with me — often — but some of what I experienced stayed with me deeply. I’m now faced with a choice: do I want to use this time to try to heal or do I want to hang onto old hurts out of spite and resentment?

Those were excruciating days for me and I don’t doubt they contributed heavily to the low self esteem I struggled with for years. However, it’s been over 34 years since the bus incident and well past 25 years since she stole my first high school boyfriend then ceased to speak to me for the remainder of our time in high school. But for some reason, it still stings to think about my relationship with her. I have failed to mention that the girl was, and still is, “smokin’ hot” so I never measured up in the first place.

My choice is clear: forgive as my Lord and Savior forgives me for the heinous things I do to Him on a daily basis in thought, word and deed, or cling pathetically to the hurt I had so competently buried. Human nature says cling to hurt and try to hurt back. AFGO says, “grow up and get over it already.”

Lucky for me, it is Lent. A time for reflection and repentance. I’m likely not going to cling full out to the past, nor let it go entirely. I learned a lot of valuable things from that time in my life and it has made me a better friend, a better mother and better able to give counsel when needed. I think I’ll sit with this for a while and see how I am led.

Random Acts of Honesty

I heard an alarming statistic on the radio the other day; I cannot even be sure if I remember it correctly, but it really made me sad. According to survey results on “Wikianswers” (which we can all rely upon to be completely accurate) “12% of adults admit to telling lies “sometimes” or “often”. The profession with the highest number of liars is teaching, with 65% admitting to telling lies, and a surprising 18% telling surveyors that they tell lies “routinely”. The most dishonest time of day is between 9 and 9:30 in the evening, with the early hours of the morning most likely to reveal the truth.”

Whether these statistics are correct or skewed, it is still an alarming fact of life. When I was a young person trying to keep my father from knowing anything I was up to , I must admit, I got to be a practiced liar. When I got married, my beloved turned out to be a rigidly honest human being. It was dreadful! He actually called me on my bad behavior one time and said, “You’re a grown, married woman — why on earth did you tell your father that lie just now?” The truth was, I had just gotten used to lying to him. The blessing was that my father was not actually in the room when my spouse called me on the carpet. Not only would he have blurted this out in front of Dad, he would also not cover for me when I chose to lie.  I hated it…at first.

It was a very difficult adjustment, but once I started acting like a grown up, I didn’t figure I had anything to hide. Now, this does not mean that I tell my friends when a certain skirt makes their butt look big and I don’t tell my boss he is acting like a moron. Honesty does not mean you need to use hurtful words or blurt out whatever comes to your mind. It just means respecting others enough to give them your sincerity. So, if a friend asks me if the skirt makes their behind look large, instead I might say, “I don’t think it flatters you.” As for your boss acting like a moron?  I got nuthin’ on that!

So, as I have been challenged, I will challenge you too. When you feel so inclined this week to cover up something you don’t want to talk about or gloss over a difficult question, take a minute to stop and think of how you would want to be treated. Consider the extra hurt feelings or anger if your lie is uncovered — it’s always 10 times worse when you betray the trust of a loved one or colleague. Try to commit random acts of honesty this week. “Grow a Set,” as it were, and don’t be afraid to be honest. It gets much easier over time to tell the truth and your friends and family will come to appreciate the fact that you won’t let them go out looking like they’ve been packaged in sausage casings.

Your boss, however, may have to remain a moron.